Aw, I like the spicy-and-fishy style of som tam. Oh well. I had a conversation with one of the members of staff at the now-closed Thai stall at Pacific Plaza (Sawadee), and she told me that a decent Thai place would be making your som tam fresh to order, and so you should be able to ask for your preferred balance of sweet/sour/spicy/fishy. Maybe you should see what Busaba say to that!
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Here's the one I had at Sawadee: